After i have started doing research, reading books, watching motivational preaches and videos i believe we are NOT ON EARTH for ourselves, but for others. To serve others. To use the talents given ourselves for others. "to live in service, not to you, but to live in service to humanity." YOU ARE HERE still for a reason.
Lately since my birthday which was on the 30th of April this year and i was the closest to killing myself ever, i have now realized i cannot do this on my own. I am so desperate i have handed my whole life and being to God. After i have started doing research, reading books, watching motivational preaches and videos i believe we are NOT ON EARTH for ourselves, but for others. To serve others. To use the talents given ourselves for others. "to live in service, not to you, but to live in service to humanity." YOU ARE HERE still for a reason.
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Watch this. truly inspiring. There is a lesson in your pain. i came upon this today and thought i have to share this. If you have come to my sight and watching this right now, know there is a reason why you had to watch this specific video right now. I am sure many of you will agree, these days our generation is finding it increasing difficult to know what they want to do with their lives. I then beg to question, "will some of us ever know what we really want to do!!!" Some of you are fortunate enough to figure it all out at a early stage, pursue and be happy in with what you do. For others like me, we are lost, forever trying to just figure out our passions, purpose, and with a bit of rationalization...."what is it we want to do with our lives?" In grade 10 i was set on the idea that i wanted to be an architect. People had put ideas in my head of how the profession would be, some ideas accurate/ others not. After a long process of applying to study, i got in and pursued architecture. I must say i did complain a lot about it to my mom, it turned out to be a lot different as to what i thought. None the less i had my eyes set on getting my degree and perseverance had luckily always been a very good quality of mine. After 2 years i had a mental break down, got sucked in by this horrible disease known as depression, and lost all sense of purpose and passion. There was no point to life anymore. Why would i then want to do anything if in my mind i was not planning on living very long? Its been a rough journey, 3 years EXACT from that first break-down, and as i am starting to heal, even though i still struggle with having a sense of purpose and passion, i still cannot reach a conclusion as to what i want to do with my life. Before i was diagnosed with clinical depression, i knew life was about finding a job, being secure, making money so that i wouldn't have to just "survive", AND I KNEW that even though what i chose to do would perhaps not make me very happy, i had the skills to persevere and would have to just "DEAL WITH IT." My journey has completely changed my perspective. NOW i know, i want to find something that will make me happy. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AND EXCITED TO WAKE UP EVVVVVERY MORNING AND KNOW "YESSSSS!" today is going to be a great day. I LOVE WHAT I DO! Yes with every purpose or job comes the bad and the good, i have accepted that not every day will be a happy day, but as i said my perspective now has changed so much as to 8 years ago. However, if you want to be happy, you cannot ignore the financial implications of what you choose to pursue.You might love what you do but earn so little that the financial struggle ends up making you miserable. You might choose a job which is "okay", not really feeding the soul", but you know you will have money and will be able to lead a very comfortable life. So how will we ever know what we want to be, pursue, do with our lives if there is all these things we have to take into consideration?? I do not know. in fact i have no answers. However, i recently came across this video. It touched me very deeply as i even ended up with tears in my eyes. Let me know what you think!? Lately i have been so scared. Scared for my future. Scared because of my current relationship with a guy. Scared when i have my "off" days, scared because my only friend, my best friend, is leaving soon for a job which is hours and hours away. Then i came upon this video. It didn't take my fears away, but at least put things into perspective. Fear robs us of our dreams, of amazing possibilities, it steals from us, it takes away, it leaves us crippled with a deep and dark loss, an abyss, a pit of nothingness. So every single day thousands of words come slipping from our lips. Like the bible says….thy mouth can either be a blessing or a curse. We should be VERY CAREFUL of what comes out of our mouths. Once it is out we can no longer grab hold of those words, and take them back in. Some words might be as harmless as a bullet scheming your shoulder, others so deep cut as bringing a horrific wound to the flesh. WATCH this video and you will see what i mean.!!!!! Someone once told me.
Take a plate. Throw it on the floor. Its broken right? Now what are you going to do? Sorry's aren't always going to mend the broken pieces together. Lately i have been feeling very discouraged. I took this year off so i could do things that i have always wanted to do but put off. serve in ministry was plan A, door after door has been shut in my face with that one. Plan B, modeling. !7 agencies turned me down until one accepted me, but because of my height i am on their small board and not their model board. Business opportunities came, build expectation and excitement just turned into a let down and disappointment. Its a mess. Then i came to the question, whats the message in all this mess. I wanted to give up. I loss trust and faith in the church. I felt that perhaps i was not all that beautiful being turned down countless times. I have lost trust in people with all their broken promises. But BAM, for the first time the only person i trust is myself. Fighting depression for 3 years the only one i could not trust is myself so event hough i have felt rejection and discouragement i finally came to the point of self trust, perhaps more vital than all of the above. We all feel discouraged from one time to another. Here is a video which inspired me to keep on keeping on. |
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