Thus today I would like to speak about "the meeting between".
The people you become friends with, the people you briefly meet in your wakes of life, the people from your past, the people who have deeply hurt you and then have ended up leaving you, the passing ships, the comforters, the diseased, the people you wish you never met, the people you observe, the people that inspire you.......
You may be saying, yes perhaps the "people that add value" inspire, but not the people who have caused hurt and damage!!! Today through my own experiences I am going to go very deep and share with you what I have learned through all of my encounters.
I shall first and foremost start with men, a woman’s weakest temptation.
1. No sex= no “anything”
When I was in school I developed my first high school crush. Feelings obviously started to surface, which I never had experienced before, and yes I liked him a lot. I even considered him as my “first love”. (Or whatever you may call it)
So as time went by, his family and I went to their family vacation home for a long weekend. His dad made me feel so “special” seeing as though I was the first girl they had formally met.
Long story short, he tried to have sex with me. I at the time didn’t feel ready, as I had promised myself I would wait till after school, and we weren’t yet in a formal relationship.
2 days later we got to school, and that was the end of that, because I would not sleep with him. I felt worthless, used and pretty much sad.
Lesson: Find a guy that realizes your worth, does not only chase you because of his sexual desires, and find someone who is willing to wait. PLUS: Well done for sticking to your morals girlfriend!
2. The 3 year relationship = toxic = abusive relationship = watsapp break-up message (wow I felt sooo special)
I can’t say I particularly like to admit that this relationship added any value to my life, as it was partially the reason for me developing suicidal depression.
Lesson: Co-dependency can start to develop when the relationship becomes a toxic one.
A guy was willing to wait a year and a half before we slept together which in turn made me feel of value.
However I learned THAT RUNNING BACK TO someone who physically abused you which I did (RAN BACK TO HIM), =disaster.
3. The “short lasted relationships/ passing ships”
Yes they might be short but they can also end up in tears.
Lesson: when you are vulnerable and lonely, a relationship is a no go. FOCUS ON self-love before you give your heart to someone else. Just because a guy might wine and dine you, and make promises and come forth as the “this type of guy only comes around once, he must be a keeper”= LETS GET REAL!
Lesson:
1. The photographer introduced me to one of my favorite passions of today.
2. The exercise junky introduced me to exercise and wow I feel great, look great, and yoga can be very helpful when you feeling down.
3. The 20 something year old with no ambition. Just NO….
4. The holiday romance guy= just remember you never see them again, so don’t form any attachments.
5. The wine and diner who turned out to be a woman abuser= Yes I deserve to be wined and dined and flowered up, treated as the classy woman as I am, but no I will not like being punched in the face even though you blame it on your ex “psycho” girlfriend for bringing it out of you.
6. The rehab romance
Lasted 1 year. Most common conversations= depression, medication, and depression, medication etc etc.
Lesson= not healthy to go for someone when both of you cant even help yourselves.
Secondly I would like to start with friends.
This one is easy. When you in a bad space, you attract negative people. When you in a healthy space, you attract healthy positive people. When you going through your depression please realize and understand that they don’t understand what you are going through. Conclusion: reflect. If they add value to your life= keeper. If not= dump her or him.
Thirdly
The people that hurt us.
Lesson: See all of the above. You are great. You still here so please stop trying to kill yourself. Stop being the victim. Stop letting others have the power over you to bring you down, and make you feel of no worth. If it no longer serves you, grows you, or adds happiness to your life= let go of the heavy baggage. Annnnd…never go for the drinkers and the druggies when you feeling lonely, low, and think this is the only solution= you stronger than that.
Fourthly:
The inspirationalS:
Yes you get your heroes, celebrities, preachers, motivational speakers, but I am talking about those people that create moments that really touch your soul. I shall give two amazing examples.
1. The homeless guy at the robots
So in 2010 I started studying architecture and whilst in second year I had my breakdown and yes that’s where all the wheels came off. I was great at it though and even though I could of gone back because I had the talent and such an amazing opportunity….I did not.
The other day a homeless guy stood with this little architectural model in his hands. Beautiful. Precise. Almost perfect. I told him SO, and asked him “who made it and where the materials were obtained?”, and he said he was responsible for it all. Here was someone with so much talent, perhaps even with a dream to go into the building/design industry…. but unlike me he had no opportunities. IT BROKE MY HEART and made me realize how blessed I actually was.
2. The “crazy/ cool chick at the clinic”
So one day we were all sitting in the garden, people were smoking, people were talking and there sat a new comer- probably in her 40’s. We were complaining why we here, more complaining, more complaining, more complaining. Out of her silence she broke “guys let me tell you my “f&^%en story.” I sat there, embarrassed by my complaining. I realized how lucky I actually had it and that the cards that I was dealt were not even close to hers. She sat there, with courage, strength…. not looking for a pity party, but perhaps she tried to tell us that even though she had gone through hell and back…she is a victor not a victim.
THE LIST COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON!!!!
The purpose of this message today however, was to tell you that each person you meet is a blessing in disguise.
Suuuuure sometimes I think; “wow if only I didn’t meet this or that one”, “I wish I could of known”, “I wish that person didn’t do this or that to me”. BUTTTTTT we decided to let them into our lives, we made that conscious choice and unfortunately we cannot go back.
SO PLEASE go think. Every time you hating on someone from the past, think to yourself…. what did I learn out of it, what was the purpose in it all?
AND if anyone remotely similar to those past “a-holes” enter your life, you know how the story ends.
Yes people leave scars, which become hidden stories, but we ultimately decide how the chapter will end. NOT THEM. NOT NOW. NOT EVER.