I hate it that you broke your promises, saying you would always fight
I hate that I was never good enough to fight for
I hate the fact that you wanted our relationship to be your happy place and you said it was far from it
I hate it that I took you back
I hate it that I'm sitting amongst the broken pieces
I hate this emptiness, that my soul feels empty without you
I hate the wasted tears that are never ending
I hate the fact that you made me believe in love again
I hate it that I fell for it
I hate it that I thought you had saved my life
I hate the fact that I was willing to do anything for you
I hate it that I'm all alone
I hate it that in the one suffering because of your uncertainties
I hate it that it always revolved around you and even without you it still does
I hate it that I'm still crying.
I hate it that I don't see a way forward
I hate these feelings, this reality, that we will never be together again
I hate the fact that I was only good enough when you had nothing and no one
I hate the fact that you just threw me away
I hate myself for still wanting you
I hate it that you pulled me along this string
I hate it that you went from hot to cold
I hate the fact that we have gone from lovers to absolute strangers
I hate the fear I have of you ever wanting me back
I hate the fact that you feel like that lost fix
I hate myself for making you of such importance in my life
I hate the fact that I met you
That I allowed you in
That I allowed you to draw me in and make me fall
I hate it that I fell so hard and at the end you weren't there to catch me
I hate it that in the broken one, the sad one, the lonely one, the rejected one
However as much as I hate, I still don't hate you. And I hate that fact alone. That I can still love you after you led me on to believe I'm the one. That once people started actually caring, even if it was half the amount as me, they became of more importance. I hate it that I loved you even though you had nothing, and now that you something, I'm just not good enough.
I have tried to end my life over the heartbreak of 3 guys. But one thing is certain. I don't hate myself that much to do it again. One day I will look back and realize and see the wasted tears, the unnecessary void and emptiness that metamorphasised within, and I will be grateful that I chose life
greatful that I didn't die along with the love we had.