What is it, and who self-harms?
Self harm can be done in many different ways. Cutting, abusing prescription medication, excessive drinking, taking drugs,scratching themselves,digging nails into skin, even burning one self. Many people who self-harm have suicidal tendencies. However many people do it to numb internal feelings of hurt, pain and sadness.
People who self harm are either severely depressed, and are people who are often in distress and don't handle rejection very well. Some even feel that they don't belong anywhere in this world. Others do so to escape from a certain emptiness, shame , tragic reality, to relieve tension, to feel something to still feel as though they not completely numb to life, to feel in control, to punish themselves because of guilt,anger,sadness or regret etc. Many view it as a way of surviving.
Many think it is a cry for attention. However only when someone advertises it i would say there is a 50% they are crying out for help, others just do it as a form of manipulation. Many don't even speak about it or make it apparent as they scared if they get caught what the implications would be. It becomes one of their best kept secrets. This in turn could lead to some sort of high, or feelings of adrenalin and control.
I HAVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF SELF-HARM.
-I have cut myself- as a way of manipulating my mom and just getting through to her when she would never hear my voice
-I have scratched into my skin till it bleeds- just to get rid of some of the emotional pain i was in
-I have abused alcohol to the point where before climbing onto the bus to go home, my friends had to carry me onto the bus where the next that i woke up i didn't know where i was.
-I have abused drugs to the point where i couldn't keep count and even after vomiting my lungs out i would take more
-I have abused sleeping pills to the point of taking it every time i woke up i would take some just to go back to sleep
-I have tried overdosing on sleeping pills by taking 2 boxes worth and when i recovered i had no remembrance of the last three days, and what i put my family through. Scary enough, right after i took more sleeping pills.
-I have burned myself with cigarettes
-I have starved myself at days at a time thinking i have some form of control
-I have unwound a key chains wire when i was in a clinic for depression just to pierce it into my skin continuously.
However i would like to proudly say i have not done that in the last month, 30 days. Thanks to the grace of god and my family.
Tips on controlling Self-Harm
1. Ask yourself the following questions: "Does it really make me feel better?" "Should i rather not change my life circumstances?""What are other alternatives, safer alternatives to self-harm?"
2. One technique of keeping control over your self harm is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you want to self harm pick it to bounce back to your skin.
3. When you want to self-harm rather decide okay I am going to take 10-60 minutes to running, painting, drawing, writing down your feelings...and then perhaps afterwards i wont want to do it at as a impulse decision. ( the delay tactic)
4. Try relaxation and breathing. I know at that time you will be cursing and thinking it wont't work, but you would be surprised what 10 breathes in and out can do for you.
5. Write to me anonymously and perhaps i can help and hear you out.
6. When the feeling of wanting to self-harm affirm to yourself that you stronger than this or shout out "NO" "STOP"
People who self harm are either severely depressed, and are people who are often in distress and don't handle rejection very well. Some even feel that they don't belong anywhere in this world. Others do so to escape from a certain emptiness, shame , tragic reality, to relieve tension, to feel something to still feel as though they not completely numb to life, to feel in control, to punish themselves because of guilt,anger,sadness or regret etc. Many view it as a way of surviving.
Many think it is a cry for attention. However only when someone advertises it i would say there is a 50% they are crying out for help, others just do it as a form of manipulation. Many don't even speak about it or make it apparent as they scared if they get caught what the implications would be. It becomes one of their best kept secrets. This in turn could lead to some sort of high, or feelings of adrenalin and control.
I HAVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF SELF-HARM.
-I have cut myself- as a way of manipulating my mom and just getting through to her when she would never hear my voice
-I have scratched into my skin till it bleeds- just to get rid of some of the emotional pain i was in
-I have abused alcohol to the point where before climbing onto the bus to go home, my friends had to carry me onto the bus where the next that i woke up i didn't know where i was.
-I have abused drugs to the point where i couldn't keep count and even after vomiting my lungs out i would take more
-I have abused sleeping pills to the point of taking it every time i woke up i would take some just to go back to sleep
-I have tried overdosing on sleeping pills by taking 2 boxes worth and when i recovered i had no remembrance of the last three days, and what i put my family through. Scary enough, right after i took more sleeping pills.
-I have burned myself with cigarettes
-I have starved myself at days at a time thinking i have some form of control
-I have unwound a key chains wire when i was in a clinic for depression just to pierce it into my skin continuously.
However i would like to proudly say i have not done that in the last month, 30 days. Thanks to the grace of god and my family.
Tips on controlling Self-Harm
1. Ask yourself the following questions: "Does it really make me feel better?" "Should i rather not change my life circumstances?""What are other alternatives, safer alternatives to self-harm?"
2. One technique of keeping control over your self harm is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time you want to self harm pick it to bounce back to your skin.
3. When you want to self-harm rather decide okay I am going to take 10-60 minutes to running, painting, drawing, writing down your feelings...and then perhaps afterwards i wont want to do it at as a impulse decision. ( the delay tactic)
4. Try relaxation and breathing. I know at that time you will be cursing and thinking it wont't work, but you would be surprised what 10 breathes in and out can do for you.
5. Write to me anonymously and perhaps i can help and hear you out.
6. When the feeling of wanting to self-harm affirm to yourself that you stronger than this or shout out "NO" "STOP"
Other ways of coping are:
-listening to music
-phoning a friend
-joining a support group
-reading a inspirational book
-if you creative-draw,write,paint what you feel
-watch TV and just unwind
-start exercising this has been a tremendous help for me-especially yoga and pilates
-invest in mediation cd's
-look at your present circumstances. what is causing this pain? Are there any people i should stay away from that are bad for me? Should i rather go to a rehabilitation centre?
-Name your feelings as they come. Be mindful and accept them as they come. Sometimes the best way to get through something is to sit that pain and if you survive it and see it wont kill you maybe this will motivate you.
All you survivors out there. I know its difficult but you are still alive. You have your scars to symbolize the emotional struggles toy